There are ways for women to rev up their sex drive. The question is, “how can women increase libido?” Also, what can couples do when their libido is mismatched? Is seeing a professional the answer? These are all questions I asked Certified Sexual Health Clinician Rachael Cabreira in the second half of our interview. If you missed Part One of our conversation, check it out.
Interview with Rachael Cabreira, Certified Sexual Health Clinician
Rachael Cabreira has 23 years of experience in the specialties of sexual, hormonal, and pelvic health, as well as obstetrics, infertility, and urology. She is the founder and CEO of Innovative Wellness Inc., located in Walnut, California. There, she takes a holistic approach to wellness, focusing on helping women who have sexual, pelvic, or urinary dysfunction to improve their quality of life.
Rachael’s career as a Certified Sexual Health Clinician has given her experience and insights that you don’t come across every day. So, let’s keep the conversation going! Here’s the second part of our interview.
Rachael, why is it important to try to restore and rejuvenate a low sex drive?
“It is the other heartbeat of a woman’s body” It has everything to do with connecting our mind, body, and spirit… And it starts with you first!
Well said! For women, what are some ways to jumpstart their libido?
#1. Clinically address the root cause, address hormone health and imbalances, gut health, urinary health etc. There are medications and non-medication options to discuss
#2. Intimate skin care is essential; women need lubrication, wrinkles are essential in the vulva and the vagina
#3. Cliovana treatments that naturally improve and restore sexual function, increase lubrication… Ultimately turns the engine on
#4. Supplements that improve and fill the gaps that can increase energy, nitric oxide, oxygenation, blood flow, and overall health to your body
#5. Eat healthy and exercise
#6. Pelvic floor physical therapy
#7. Have more sex
What can couples experiencing mismatched libido do to maintain connection and intimacy?
The funny conversations I have daily with my women are, “Rachael, I’m all revved up now… What about him…” Or “my partner…” So the partner often becomes my patient as well.
I incorporate sexual health coaching and counseling with every visit because every relationship needs some tips, tricks, or guidance for improvement. There are many reasons why couples may not be experiencing connection with libido.
The answer is, let’s get to the root cause of WHAT is going on and how we can fix it… For example, menopause, vaginal dryness, [or] low hormones. Let’s fix hormonal health, fix the vagina, and regain your intimacy and sexual pleasure back. Disease processes, like cancer, autoimmune, cardiac issues, stroke, injury, etc.. can be long-lived, and fatigue and energy levels can be impacted, ultimately affecting libido and the ‘`want’ of desire and being intimate with their partner.
Things partners can start with: First step is talking about your intimate challenges with your provider… This is an open discussion here at my practice daily: but along the way, below are my few tips to start with:
#1. Communication
I have a “famous conversation” I share here in my office. A couple came to me and wanted to improve their sexual intimacy with each other… They are head over heels in love, but the first time they did it, it was awful… She assumed what he likes, and he assumed what she likes… Didn’t mix well. So we worked on communicating what each other likes, turn-ons, turn-offs, where to stroke, and the pressure, where is that zone on your body….
#2 Intimacy
Intimacy does not mean penetration. How do we cuddle, kiss, touch each other?
#3. Having intimate fun
Tickling each other, lying naked together – Running through the house naked unexpectedly is so fun. Sometimes just laughing about something that only the two of you share and reminding each other of those conversations. Schedule date nights – wink at each other across from the table, dress up, go dancing together, drink a glass of wine, and laugh the day away.
Leave your sexy cute underwear on his bathroom sink or on the way up the stairs to see… Sing your favorite song and bust a move in the kitchen making dinner.
#4. Celebrating
Celebrating the things you have accomplished as a couple, falling in love again, remembering when you first fell in love – And what you loved at that time about each other, and what you love even more now… Having your family, enjoying your journey together.
All of these things are about strengthening your relationship and reconnecting your mind, body, and spirit together, creating desire, fantasy, and ultimately increasing libido.
When is it time to speak with a professional for help?
As soon as possible. If it is something that is affecting your quality of life, then it’s time to do something. Statistically, 45% of women, in general, have some level of sexual dysfunction, but only approximately 15% will actually speak to their provider about it.
Seeking help and finding alternative options is essential. Treatments like Cliovana can truly impact one’s sexual activity. Cliovana is a completely non-invasive treatment that creates long-term increases in women’s sexual responsiveness and orgasm frequency and intensity. The patented protocol is specifically designed for women and uses safe and proven sound wave technology to stimulate the body’s natural processes, enhancing vascularization and neurogenesis in the clitoris, the area most critical to sexual satisfaction. The treatments are fast and pain-free, with no side effects and no downtime.
To someone embarrassed to talk about sex with a medical professional, what would you say?
For someone who is uneasy talking about sex, I would recommend taking the word sex out of the conversation and start with the conversation with the specific symptoms that are impacting your quality of life.
Hormones, mental health, physical health, trauma, etc. can all impact sex drive, but many people don’t know this because the topic is taboo.
Why would it help to educate people on the factors that impact libido, and how can we get rid of the stigma?
The question is why this topic ever became taboo… Why do women need to hide in a cave and feel like they can’t express themselves?
We actually express ourselves everyday discreetly. Putting on lipstick, makeup, or a cute outfit with fun heels, dangle earrings… We look sexy, but it’s not labeled as “sex, libido.” It actually has become the language of “I’m feeling sexy today.” But why do we have to hide it, feel embarrassed or guilty to speak about it? Why is our society so taboo…. When we can talk about every other thing in this world freely, but not sexual health?
The bottom line is we are sexual beings, and it’s a part of being a human being… I can’t tell you how many women come to my office, and the discussion starts… Slow, small words… Then the tears… That’s when sexual liberation happens, and women stop feeling guilty about talking about their sexual feeling and/or how they have lost their libido. We break ground together, developing a relationship and a conversation, a language to their symptoms, and bringing their most intimate selves to the forefront.
My success has been opening the conversation, allowing for a safe space and comfort around understanding how libido is a part of our health, how it affects our health [and] our relationships. Starting with you first. And how changes in our body, especially with the “natural process” of hormonal changes through our lifespan, lifestyle, diseases like breast cancer, multiple sclerosis, urinary tract infections, leaking my pants all the time, I just had a baby… Now what?
As you can see, I can go on and on with this question, but in summary,
Education, about how our body does change through our lifespan and all the other factors that impact our most intimate well-being is the key. In my office, we end our conversations with WE WANT THE BEST SEX EVER, WE WANT JUICY INTIMATE SKIN & KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF ORGASMS… Feel free, beautiful, and a Rock Star when you leave here. Get that confidence back, girl!
Your enthusiasm is awesome, Rachael! Thank you for the terrific interview series. Do you have anything else to add?
This is an honor to be able to share my story and passion. It’s hard to put some of this into words. There is so much to talk about with this discussion; it’s hard to narrow the conversation. Thank you for this opportunity.
Connect with Rachael Cabreira online
Reach out to Rachael at her practice, Innovative Wellness Inc. The website provides details about her holistic approach to well-being, how to schedule an appointment, and more.
Rachel’s intimate product line is Fulfillene. The brand provides support for women in the area of intimate health. Fulfillene is on Facebook and Instagram.
This interview was featured on When Women Inspire, written by Christy Birmingham-Reyes. To see the article, click the link below: